Being Canadian

This term I'm taking Civics 11, again at the public pseudo-high school. The class is coated in political correctness AND debating is welcome. Yep, it's awesome.

Of course the textbook and the teacher are continually talking about how great Canada is. And mostly, we are. *ahem* I mean, I love living here and can't think of anywhere in particular that I'm dying to relocate to. But once in a while, all the patriotism needs a good dose of snark and cynicism. So—why not to like Canada:

1.) The fact that we have next to no national identity, on account of the constant shoving-down-throats of Multiculturalism. I have more than a few friends who are visible minorities, and of course they have a right to be proud of their heritage. So am I. But the media and the government chant the whole We Are a Mosaic, Not a Melting Pot! mantra a whole lot more than the minorities themselves do. Multiculturalism is great but please, people, there are other things we could focus on once in a while, too. Besides the things we've stolen from other cultures (and that includes the ever-popular amusement of America-bashing—also a Canadian tradition, it seems. Apparently our tolerance doesn't extend to them. How curious) there isn't much as far as Canadian culture is concerned. Oh yeah, there's hockey. That one doesn't count.

2.) The incredibly lax penalties for any sort of crime. Human trafficking (not human smuggling/illegal immigration) for example—in the US, the minimum sentence is ten years in prison, and the average sentence is about twenty. In Canada, there is no minimum sentence, and the average is two or three years. There have only been two people convicted of trafficking minors in Canada, ever—one got three years, minus thirteen months for time served before the trial, for holding a fifteen-year-old-girl for 2 1/2 years and making thousands of dollars off of her exploitation. The other, after time already served was subtracted, spent an entire week in jail. A week. This is the sort of thing that's supposed to happen in southeast Asia or somewhere (not that it's less horrific there—it's more, I'm sure). Not here. Not in any country that claims to be civilised.

3.) Though the French remember their past, and the history of the First Nations is much publicised, the only people who haven't forgotten about what the British did for us see them as hateful, oppressive, destructive conquerors. *weeps*

Hmm...that's all I can think of. Perhaps hope remains for my indoctrination after all. (Also, there's the fact that Bill C-268, which would impose a five-year minumum sentence upon anyone convicted of human trafficking, had its first reading last month. Yeah...it's a start, I guess. Three cheers for Joy Smith, and for anyone who writes to their MP to tell them to support the bill.)

Sorry for the tangent; it's a subject I've been reading a lot about lately.

Back to Canada. In my quest to be a well-educated individual (an excellent reason to research the most random of subjects, if you ever wish to explain to the unenlightened why you're reading about the history of paper clips or something of the sort) I picked up Culture Wise Canada from the library—one of those guides for tourists and immigrants, written by a Brit I think. Very interesting. For example, how to converse with Canadians:

Another favourite conversational gambit is complaining, especially about Americans, the government, and of course, the weather... In the average Canadian conversation, it doesn't really get cold until it's -40C outside and you're outside wearing nothing but a stupid grin and a paper hat. The exception to this is the inhabitants of southern British Columbia, who are much more likely to drone on about how balmy their weather is—positively Hawaiian, in fact.

Well, it is. Can we help that we have the only decent weather in Canada? *grins* Real Vancouverites don't carry umbrellas!

Safe topics of conversation include hockey, American football, films, gun control in the US (always a hit topic), Toronto's overbearing influence (unless, of course, you're in Toronto), the Canadian healthcare system, and the failings of politicians. ...

Canada's national animal is the beaver, and they are proud of the beast, so it's best not to ask them why they didn't choose something more impressive...rather than a large, bucktoothed water rat that slaps its tail on the water to warn of danger.

Or,

British Columbia is generally regarded as Canada's coolest province... known for artists, drinking coffee on patios, hippies, marijuana production, retirees, skiing, Vancouver, vegans and water sports. The climate is notably damp, meaning that British Columbians don't so much tan as rust. They're viewed as rather estranged from easterners...more unconventional, and having more in common with nearby Seattle than far-off Toronto.

My province's culture in the shell of a nut. I've never been skiing and drink tea instead of coffee, but our neighbours did used to have a grow-op. *pours oil on Tin Man joints*

But, a question for the general public—what do you think of when someone mentions Canada? What's our stereotype? (whether good or bad) What stands out most about what you know of the culture and people?