In Which I Unmask a Conspiracy

{Spoilers!}

So Les Mis was superb in almost every way (except for horrid wigs, the expected crudeness, and Gavroche's death scene. He just kind of sang and choked and died at the top of the barricade, without even getting any cartridges. How tragic). Otherwise it was smashing, I loved it.

Their Eponine was not bad, only a little whiny and victimised, which I suspect is not the actress' fault so much as the way she's been indoctrinated. Evidence of how far this shocking fact-twisting has spread can be seen in sites like this, this, and this.

Observe the original Eponine's speech after she takes Marius' bullet:

"You see, you are lost! Now, no one can get out of the barricade. It was I who led you here, by the way! You are going to die, I count upon that. And yet, when I saw them taking aim at you, I put my hand on the muzzle of the gun. How queer it is! But it was because I wanted to die before you. ...Oh! How happy I am! Every one is going to die."

And Cosette isn't completely spineless either. i.e:

"Moreover, Cosette was not very timid by nature. There flowed in her veins some of the blood of the bohemian and the adventuress who runs barefoot. It will be remembered that she was more of a lark than a dove. There was a foundation of wildness and bravery in her."


The method behind this defame-Cosette-canonise-Eponine-and-make-Marius-look-like-an-unfeeling-imbecile scheme is fourfold:

1. Put Cosette into ghastly gowns. Give Eponine a trench coat! And a newsboy cap!

2. Let Cosette be the brainless, bland porcelain doll, the symbol of the bourgeois and the idiots who remain constrained by the class structure. This will allow Eponine to be a character foil—no one can resist charming, plucky street urchins!

3. Unrequited Love is always useful, because all middle school girls who have ever had a crush on someone can relate to it. The fact that Marius is a BARON and would create a massive scandal by marrying a girl from the Paris underworld is of course irrelevant. This is Twue Wuv, after all—who cares about historical accuracy?

4. Tragic Death. At the end of the day (ha, ha) the fact remains that Eponine died to save Marius! Even though he rejected her! Can you imagine anything more noble? And then Marius had the nerve to go and marry that Cosette person anyway!

So there you have it. You can now recognise the metaphorical arrows of perfidy and thus protect yourself. I myself like both Cosette and Eponine. In my opinion a mentally unstable stalker-girl is infinitely more interesting than a victim worthy of sainthood. The perky and cute Eponine in the musical (alternately, the angsty and sorrowful one) is all a disguise. This is their tactic. Don't be fooled!